If you are suffering from Complex PTSD it is likely that you were traumatized as a child and/or experienced a form of neglect.
The upshot of this is that you did not receive the level of parenting and compassion that a child requires to feel good about themselves and the world. It is unlikely that your parents will provide this and make up for lost time now, so as a Cptsd survivor you can engage in a form of 'reparenting'. At a basic level this means providing yourself with the compassion and protection that was absent in your childhood. This process according to Pete Walker (author of Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving) is called 'Self Mothering' and he describes it as "building a deeply felt sense that we are lovable and deserve to be loved".
Reparenting is a broad topic but below are some affirmations the book suggests form part of self mothering.
Reparenting affirmations
- I am so glad you were born
- You are a good person
- I love who you are and am doing my best to always be on your side
- You can come to me whenever you are feeling hurt or bad
- You do not have to be perfect to get my love and protection
- All of your feelings are okay with me
- I am always glad to see you
- It is okay for you to be angry and I won't let you hurt yourself or others when you are
- You can make mistakes-they are your teachers
- You can know what you need and ask for help
- You can have your own preferences and tastes
- You are a delight to my eyes
- You can choose your own values
- You can pick your own friends and you don't have to like everyone
- you can sometimes feel confused and ambivalent and not know all the answers
- I am very proud of you
I recommend reading these continuously for at least 5 minutes a day, pausing after each one to feel and absorb the statement.
Please leave a comment a below to let myself and others know how you got on with this exercise.
Beautiful��
ReplyDeleteThese are good. What about protectiveness statements for those that felt unsafe as a child? Like "you deserve to be safe" "Your needs are my priority in a time of crisis" "I will protect you from attack and teach you coping skills".
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these. Do you have any suggestions for someone who finds it painful to say these things to themselves. My inner critic is so loud and constant that this exercise is really difficult to get through.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful for finding these and am just staritng my inner child work. I find the first one the most difficult to say and move past. i hope that with regular practice I will be able to embrace that one fully and mean it.
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