For years I have been having these horrendous experiences through the night and then waking up and carrying on with life as if nothing happened. In my early years my mother would ignore the fact I was having them, focusing more on the fact that I never wanted to go to sleep and how annoying that was for her. In later years, her problems were solved when my sister bought me a games console and I used to play on it through the night until I was so exhausted I had not choice but to fall asleep.
Well I'm an adult now and although I don't know how to stop the nightmares I'm at least aware of why I have them. Although, distressing I have decided to view them as 'interesting' and try and find some meaning in these unpleasant movies of the mind. Like other aspects of CPTSD recovery it is good to notice, record and review the things that are distressing so I have decided to add my nightmares to this blog. So however random, disturbing or comical they are, they will be here.
Attack of the squirrel in childhood home
This one started off with me being in my mothers bedroom (of my childhood home), sat on her bed. All of sudden I heard a noise out of my line of sight but next to the bed. I stood up on the bed to get a better view and I noticed that there was a squirrel hopping around on the floor.
I thought to myself "how the hell did that get in here". I looked around the room for something to catch it and when I turned back around it had gone.
Next thing I know I am in my own childhood bedroom and again I hear a noise at the end of the bed. I slowly walk along the bed to look over the edge and the squirrel is there again just moving around calmly and not paying much attention to me.
Again I start to work through the possibilities of squirrel removal. I start saying to myself "How did it get in here, "How the hell do you catch a squirrel, they are really fast", "I don't have a suitable container", "If I move it will run off". It then became evident that there was nothing in the room that could help me catch the squirrel so I came up with the idea of throwing the duvet over it. At this point I then thought "If I do that it will just run out from under it........."
In the middle of this thought the squirrel leaped of the floor and into my face I jumped back and swiped at it with my hands but the duvet (which i had bizarrely now been holding) also came into the air and covered half of my body, semi wrapping me up in it and obscuring my vision. I was now left fighting with the duvet which I was trying to untangle myself from while being very aware that the squirrel was jumping and biting the areas of my body which were exposed. In the midst of this frantic scene I screamed as loud as I could and no sound came out but I did manage to wake up.
I must admit I never thought a cute, furry woodland creature could cause such distress to a grown man but I was glad I woke up when I did !.
Dream meaning
I don't know what any of this means but here are some definitions I found online.
Squirrel - To see a squirrel in your dream suggests that you are hoarding something. You are holding on to too much and need to learn to let go. On the other hand, a squirrel may also mean that you need to reserve your time and energy. Alternatively, a squirrel indicates that you are pursuing empty and fruitless endeavors. It is time to give up on this dead-end relationship or unprofitable projects.
Duvet - To see a duvet in your dream symbolizes protection. It may also indicate that you are sexually conservative.
Animal - to dream that you are fighting with an animal signifies a hidden part of yourself that you are trying to reject and push back into your subconscious
Childhood bedroom - To dream of your childhood bedroom indicates that a current situation or feeling has triggered a memory from your childhood that you have kept secret.
Scream - If you try to scream, but no sound comes out, then it indicates your sense of helplessness and frustration in some situation. No matter how hard you try to get someone's attention, they cannot hear you. The dream highlights your difficulty in communicating with this person. You need to immediately identify your fears or feelings and confront this situation in real life
I'm not sure how much I buy into dream meanings but they are interesting if nothing else.
If you have an interpretation of my dream or would like to share your own experience, please leave a comment below.
