Having recently been diagnosed with complex PTSD I wanted to proactively find resources that could help me before I saw a therapist. This came in the form of three books and below is a list of exercises they included.
Exercises
Try to piece together an understanding of how your experiences affect you today.
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Consider these two thinking processes, "tuning out" and being sensitive to abuse related information.
- Do you find yourself detaching?
- When does it happen?
- Does it cause problems?
- Do you find that you are extra sensitive to certain topics?
- What in particular upset you?
- Does this ever cause you problems?
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Reflect on your own experiences and consider the balance of helpful and unhelpful experiences and relationships that you've had.
- How might this affect you now?
- How has this affected your view of yourself?
- How has this affected your view of others?
- How has this affected your view of the future?
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To get a better grasp of how belief systems operate, think of someone you know who has a prejudice-one with which you disagree. Maybe that person is racist, or sexist or supports a different football team or political party.
- Think how strongly that person holds the prejudice: do they ever question it?
- Now consider what happens when she or he discovers something that fits in with the prejudice. How does s/he react?
- What happens when she or he comes across something that contradicts the prejudice?
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- Try to keep a diary for several days
- Then look back over it and see if you can spot how many of today's problems or upsets are a result of vicious cycles of distress, or of unhelpful patterns in your responses.
- Don't just concentrate on the bad aspects, though: look out for the things that you do which ease the situation or put an end to the problem.
- Eventually, you will find that you can build on these helpful responses, while trying to decrease the unhelpful ones.
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- Identify your current difficulties, and for each consider why it is understandable, in the light of your early experiences, that you struggle with a particular difficulty.
- Try to be as compassionate and understanding towards yourself as you would be towards a friend.
- Remember you are only just embarking on this 'project' of recovery, so don't be disappointed if the task is too taxing right now.
- At this stage, you simply need to start thinking about possible links; you can always come back to the exercise another time.
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Write down your current set of needs
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- Reflect on your life circumstances and honestly look at the stresses which you, and those around you, might face when you take steps to create a different lifestyle for yourself.
- The idea is not to put you off change, but to help you prepare for it so that you minimize the stress and hurt to yourself and others.
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- Are there ways in which you numb your feelings?
- How do you do this?
- What are the feelings (or thoughts) that you try to avoid in this way?
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Try to identify your fears and write them down, for example:
My worries and fears about recovery:
- I am afraid that I won't be able to control my feelings.
- I am afraid that I'll have to address things before I'm ready.
- If I change, my relationship will suffer.
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Review the exercise above and try to come up with some solutions, for example:
Overcoming my worries and fears:
Overcoming my worries and fears:
- I will pace myself to avoid being overwhelmed by my feelings and I will learn ways to calm and soothe myself.
- I can decide when I'm ready to move on. This isn't a race.
- My relationship might change, but this could be for the better. I will always talk things through with my partner so that we can continue to work on our relationship.
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In this exercise you can take time to review the gains and losses involved in recovering from the past. This will help you appreciate why the process of recovery is such hard work, and then you can make a realistic commitment to healing.
List your gains and losses. When you have weighed up the pluses and minuses, you may be clearer about your reasons for choosing to recover and you may be more aware of their obstacles in your way.
Review your list and think what resources you have to help you to tolerate the losses and the changes.
- Have you friends to help you through the most painful times?
- Is there someone to support you if you give up an addiction or leave an abusive relationship?
- Can you face the consequences of not pleasing others?
- Can your children or your partner or your close friends cope with the changes that you plan?
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Set aside time to consider what you want and then review your ideas, deciding which of your goals are realistic and which need to be modified to make them realistic. Be honest about the problems that you might still be left with.
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- Clarify your hopes for recovery. How do you want things to be when you've done the work? Everyone wants things to be 'better', but how exactly do you want to change?
- If you were to realise: I've done it. I've recovered from my past, I can take charge of my life. I am okay, how would you know that you had recovered? What would have changed in you and what would you be doing differently?
- Use this picture of yourself to help you identify your goals for change and the markers that you can use to recognize the change.
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- Write down your goals-remember that you can always revise this list later-: and put a mark by those that you suspect will have to be achieved in planning stages.
- Then go back to these and see if you can work out the steps that you need to follow
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