In a previous post I described how I had started to overuse the sleeping tablet Zopiclone and now it is time to try and do something about it. Having had sleeping problems for as long as I can remember due to complex PTSD symptoms I know that this is going to be a very difficult task, however I feel motivated to do it in order to heal my body and my mind. I also want to record my experience each day to help others
This turned out to be a difficult and somewhat alarming process but I got through it - one night at a time.
Night 1
Yesterday was an extremely stressful day so last night would've been a prime opportunity to do what I normally do and take a Zopiclone sleeping tablet. I resisted the temptation but despite going to bed at 11 PM I ended up still be in the awake at 4:30 AM. The anxiety I experienced before going to bed was horrible and several hours of tossing and turning once in bed did not help. In addition to all this the tablets were right next to my bed which made for an even more tortuous situation.
The problems continued when I did eventually fall to sleep because for the first time in a long time I also had a really bad nightmare, which is something I haven't really experienced since I have been taking Zopiclone.
Unsurprisingly I do feel really tired today however I do feel quite proud of myself for not taking any tablets again.
Time to bed : 11pm
Time asleep : 5am
Time awake : 10
Hours asleep : 5
Night 2
As last night was the first night I hadn't taken a tablet I wasn't sure what to expect. However, after having so little sleep last night and having to lie in bed for so long I expected Night 2 to be difficult and this added to the anxiety. One thing that I did notice is that I keep having spasms which make me jump when I'm asleep or as I'm drifting off to sleep. This can be normal but it happened so frequently I definitely believe this is a Zopiclone (or any sleeping tablet) withdrawal symptom.
The following day I felt really tired but didn't have the usual fatigue and grogginess that I usually feel after a tablet. I found this encouraging but I know its still early.
Time to bed : 1 am
Time asleep : 2.30
Time awake : 6am
Hours asleep : 3.30
In addition, the spasms in my body were happening through the night causing me to fall asleep and wake up again continuously. The whole experience was very tedious and frustrating which ironically is the exact opposite of the state you need to be in to fall asleep.
Time to bed : 1.30 am
Time asleep : 2.30
Time awake : 7 am
Hours asleep : 4. 30
Night 4
The conference call I had worried about the previous night actually turned out to be worse than I expected. How people find it acceptable to be disrespectful and aggressive to other people without provocation I will never understand but that is another issue. Physically through the day, I was put through the mill. On the call I experienced the usual PTSD reactions such as shortness of breath, temperature increase, sweating and inability to speak. Later in the day I noticed the body spasms kept happening along with a new symptom of having extremely shaky hands and fingers. These are both Zopiclone/Sleeping tablet withdrawal symptoms.
The good news was that the call was behind me and I could try and get some rest. Unfortunately, when my head hit the pillow I was back to thinking about the call I had earlier in the day. It kept replaying it over and over again despite my efforts to shut it down or think of something else. Thankfully I eventually drifted off and put an end to pretty awful day.
Time to bed : 12.10 am
Time asleep : 1.00
Time awake : 5 am
Hours asleep : 4
Night 5
I went out with some friends on this night and I was designated driver so by the time I had finished my taxi service and got back home it was 2am. I felt fairly relaxed and I was really tired so it only took me 30 mins to get to sleep (which is unheard of for me).
I awoke at 10am completely amazed that I had been asleep for 7.30 hours !!. This is such a normal thing for other people but for me this was a huge achievement.
Despite the much needed lie in, I am still sleep deprived generally so I still felt physically tired but this is definately a mini victory.
Time to bed : 02.00 am
Time asleep : 2.30
Time awake : 10 am
Hours asleep : 7.30
Night 6
It felt like I was going to bed early despite it being gone midnight but I felt really tired so thought I would be in with a good chance of falling asleep quickly. I was quite wrong as it took 1hr 30 mins. I was restless in that time but thankfully the body spasms (withdrawal symptoms) had stopped so that was one less issue to contend with.
I didn't set an alarm but found myself awake at 5 am anyway. The day was fairly painful due to the tiredness I felt and it also plays into the sleeping tablet cravings as they are the forbidden fruit that can solve all of problems.
Time to bed : 00.30 am
Time asleep : 2.00
Time awake : 5 am
Hours asleep : 3
Night 7
It didn't take long to get to sleep which is probably due to the late hour I went to bed. After last night's 3 hour sleep people had commented that I looked really tired so I was hoping for a good 6 hours at least.
The following morning I woke up at 6.30 which was bad news considering I went to sleep at 2 but I then drifted off again only to wake up at 11.30 !!. I had woken up periodically before this but I was unable to move and kept falling back to sleep. This morning paralysis was very bizarre to me but I just put this down to my body catching up on missed sleeping hours.
All the same it was good that I went another night Zopiclone free.
Time to bed : 1.30 am
Time asleep : 2.00
Time awake : 6.30 (and then) 8-11.30
Hours asleep : 8
Night 8
Having felt pretty fed up in the evening I carried on with the bad habit of purposely staying awake by distracting myself with Youtube. Although, I felt tired I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed. This is obviously part of my PTSD issue and feels like a very strong compulsion to stay awake. Whether it is not wanting to go to bed and being anxious or punishing myself for not doing enough in the day I don't know but the result is I wait until I am really tired and then go to bed and fall asleep rather quickly.
This helps by cutting down on my 'counting sheep' time but I end up going to bed at nonconstructive times.
I woke up really groggy again in the morning again and could barely move. It took me about an hour to come around fully before I could get out of bed which annoyed me because I had things to do. In some respects this lie in is good as I catch up on my missed hours but my window of sleep should be between and 11pm and 7am ideally.
Time to bed : 1.30 am
Time asleep : 2.00
Time awake : 10.30 am
Hours asleep : 8.30
The next few nights involved me going to bed at differing times but I was able to sleep naturally. Although, I wasn't getting the prescribed 8 hours of sleep I was not dependent on Zopiclone anymore and the symptoms had subsided.
Overall I think Zopiclones are great for sleep in times of utter desperation (and I have used them since) but you have to be extremely carefull because a dependency will definately sneak up on you.
I hope this has been helpful. If you or anyone you know has experienced a similar problem please let me know in the comments section.
