Weaning off (Zopiclone) sleeping tablets after overuse or addiction

I was prescribed Zopiclone (sleeping tablets) after experiencing a large amount of stress and discomfort at work which I would later find out was complex PTSD  reactions and physical pain which unfortunately would turn into chronic long-term pain .

Having had undiagnosed complex PTSD from childhood I had always had problems sleeping and had managed by just being able to function on a limited amount of sleep per night.  My doctor prescribed Zopiclone to me three years ago and up until the last six months I had been taking it only in bad periods to try and regulate my normal sleep pattern. However,  since starting counselling within the last six months I had been relying on sleeping tablets more and more to allow me to get some rest.  As more and more distressing things were uncovered within my counselling  the Zopiclone  became a much needed tool to allow me to switch off for the night and relieve me from the emotional pain I was experiencing.

I had been told by my doctor on every visit that Zopiclone could be addictive but they allowed me to renew my prescription so I wasn't concerned. Also I had always considered myself a strong willed and vigilant  person that would be able to notice if I developed a reliance on a drug.  In addition to this my partner could see the distress that I was going through on a daily basis and was also encouraging me to take the tablets so that I would get some rest.  From initially taking Zopiclone a few nights at a time I went to taking it every night without even worrying about it,  as I didn't 'feel' addicted.  I was also able to justify taking the drug as I always had something very important to do the following day that I needed to be ready for both mentally and physically.

Overuse or addiction

It was only in a conversation with my mother that I realised that I may need to look at my use of the tablets a bit closer. She noted in our conversations that I had been taking it a lot and  that I had a rough week ahead and asked if I would be continuing to take them each night. Having taken them for the last 20 days and planning to take them for at least the next seven nights I realised that there could be a problem.  That night I decided to test whether I was addicted to sleeping tablets or not by not taking one and seeing how I coped .

Disturbingly I started getting really anxious before I went to bed and whilst I was lying in bed all I could think about was taking the tablet. I still don't know if this was a genuine craving or the fact I was just aware of the test that I was doing. Despite going to bed at 10 PM I was still awake at 3 AM. Out of what felt like sheer boredom I reached for the Zopiclone and took one. This was two nights ago and last night I did not take one.

If  you would like to read how I coped for 8 days without taking Zopiclone please read here.

Symptoms  or signs of Zopiclone (sleeping tablet)  addiction

Here are some general signs of sleeping tablet addiction :

Common signs of addiction

• Needing larger doses to fall asleep
• Trying and failing to quit more than once
• Ignoring social, professional and familial obligations
• Seeming confused or frequently detached

Common sleeping pill withdrawal symptoms include:

• Body spasms
• Seizures
• Insomnia
• Delirium
• Anxiety
• Drug cravings
• Irritability
• Depression
• Confusion
• Hallucinations
• Sweating
• Increased heart rate
• Hand tremors
• Nausea
• Vomiting

If you have experienced issues with sleeping tablets please let me know in the comments section below  and I will publish them  to help other readers.

PTSD nightmare - Attack of the squirrel in childhood home and what it means

One of the downsides of having Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is that since childhood I have experienced regular nightmares.

For years I have been having these horrendous experiences through the night and then waking up and carrying on with life as if nothing happened. In my early years my mother would ignore the fact I was having them, focusing more on the fact that I never wanted to go to sleep and how annoying that was for her. In later years, her problems were solved when my sister bought me a games console and I used to play on it through the night until I was so exhausted I had not choice but to fall asleep.

Well I'm an adult now and although I don't know how to stop the nightmares I'm at least aware of why I have them. Although, distressing I have decided to view them as 'interesting' and try and find some meaning in these unpleasant movies of the mind. Like other aspects of CPTSD recovery it is good to notice, record and review the things that are distressing so I have decided to add my nightmares to this blog. So however random, disturbing or comical they are, they will be here.

Attack of the squirrel in childhood home

This one started off with me being in my mothers bedroom (of my childhood home), sat on her bed. All of sudden I heard a noise out of my line of sight but next to the bed. I stood up on the bed to get a better view and I noticed that there was a squirrel hopping around on the floor.

I thought to myself "how the hell did that get in here". I looked around the room for something to catch it and when I turned back around it had gone.

Next thing I know I am in my own childhood bedroom and again I hear a noise at the end of the bed. I slowly walk along the bed to look over the edge and the squirrel is there again just moving around calmly and not paying much attention to me.

Again I start to work through the possibilities of squirrel removal. I start saying to myself "How did it get in here, "How the hell do you catch a squirrel, they are really fast", "I don't have a suitable container", "If I move it will run off". It then became evident that there was nothing in the room that could help me catch the squirrel so I came up with the idea of throwing the duvet over it. At this point I then thought "If I do that it will just run out from under it........."

In the middle of this thought the squirrel leaped of the floor and into my face I jumped back and swiped at it with my hands but the duvet (which i had bizarrely now been holding) also came into the air and covered half of my body, semi wrapping me up in it and obscuring my vision. I was now left fighting with the duvet which I was trying to untangle myself from while being very aware that the squirrel was jumping and biting the areas of my body which were exposed. In the midst of this frantic scene I screamed as loud as I could and no sound came out but I did manage to wake up.

I must admit I never thought a cute, furry woodland creature could cause such distress to a grown man but I was glad I woke up when I did !.

Dream meaning

I don't know what any of this means but here are some definitions I found online.

Squirrel - To see a squirrel in your dream suggests that you are hoarding something. You are holding on to too much and need to learn to let go. On the other hand, a squirrel may also mean that you need to reserve your time and energy. Alternatively, a squirrel indicates that you are pursuing empty and fruitless endeavors. It is time to give up on this dead-end relationship or unprofitable projects.

Duvet - To see a duvet in your dream symbolizes protection. It may also indicate that you are sexually conservative. 

Animal - to dream that you are fighting with an animal signifies a hidden part of yourself that you are trying to reject and push back into your subconscious

Childhood bedroom - To dream of your childhood bedroom indicates that a current situation or feeling has triggered a memory from your childhood that you have kept secret.

Scream - If you try to scream, but no sound comes out, then it indicates your sense of helplessness and frustration in some situation. No matter how hard you try to get someone's attention, they cannot hear you. The dream highlights your difficulty in communicating with this person. You need to immediately identify your fears or feelings and confront this situation in real life

I'm not sure how much I buy into dream meanings but they are interesting if nothing else.

If you have an interpretation of my dream or would like to share your own experience, please leave a comment below.